Diss Vs. Bliss: A Tale of Two Minds
Posted by [email protected] on May. 6, 2016 / Subscribe 0
Hey SMPS Arizona! The Call for Nominations for the 2016 -2017 Leadership Team is due one week from today and if you’re on the fence about submitting, we’ve got a blog post for you. Whether you’re a newcomer nervous to take the leap or a tenured member not sure if leadership is right for you, here’s a little comic relief to help you sort out your own inner-dialogue.
“You’re pathetic,” that pesky little devil perching on my shoulder snaps at me as I open up the SMPS Call for Nominations Form. “You’re not actually thinking of nominating yourself, are you?” Her rhetorical question mark stands lingering in the air like a text bubble in a cheesy comic strip. “I mean, no one nominated you for a reason…the last thing you should do is nominate yourself.”
I knew she would say something like that. She’s so judge-y; she’s so snarky; she’s so critical; she’s so MEAN!
SHE, of course, would be me…or more specifically, the dark and extremely vocal side of my conscience…and she’s always ready and willing to stoke the fires of my ever-present self-doubt. If I ever need a quick kick in the gut, she’s the first one to show up, her steel-toed boots laced to the knee. I’ve come to call her Miss Diss, and man does she deliver.
Of course, it’s not that her counterpart is some absentee participant in this on-going dialogue. It’s just that her counterpart is much more subdued in her approach. This would be Miss Bliss, whose style is typically sweet and reassuring and uplifting…and often overpowered by the constant onslaught of negativity emanating from my opposing shoulder. Which is why her response to Miss Diss’ snide remarks came as such a surprise!
“Hey, why don’t you shut up for once and give her a break!” Miss Bliss hollers around my aching neck. She must have recently attended a course on assertiveness, I think to myself…that, or she just enrolled in a self-defense class. Either way, this was a whole new side of Bliss that I was suddenly seeing…or rather, that I was suddenly hearing…
“Why do you always have to be so negative over there?” yells Bliss. “If she nominates herself, it doesn’t mean that no one wants her on the team; it’s not like grade-school dodgeball. Did you ever consider that maybe there are LOTS of people that would LOVE to have her on the team, but they don’t want to impose their will on her? They might not be sure of her interest level and are waiting for her to tell them all about it. Did you ever think about that? Huh? Did ya?!?!” This was obviously a sensitive subject for Miss Bliss…she must not have been very popular in grade-school…
“Yeah, well why do you always have to bring up grade-school?” Miss Diss quickly retorts. “It’s not my fault that you’re the most uncoordinated person on the planet. You weren’t qualified to play then and you’re certainly not qualified to play now. Why do you think this big talking head between us is so perplexed? She remembers what it felt like to be placed on the team by the gym teacher while everyone rolled their eyes behind her. You think she wants to relive that experience? Just like you, she’s not qualified for any of the positions! Just deal with it and get on with your…”
KA-BOINK! A giant red dodgeball hits Miss Diss directly in the thigh before she even has a chance to finish her thought. “In case you haven’t noticed, Miss Snarky-Pants…a lot has changed since grade-school” Miss Bliss quips as her saucy Doppelgänger stands dumbfounded. “Guess I’m qualified enough now to score on you,” she continues. “So how ya like me now?! By the way, that’s 1-me; you-zip.”
“Oh, it’s on…it’s ON!” screams an irritated Miss Diss, now flushed a bright red hue. “You want to play? Let’s play! We’ll both be our own teammates. First one to four hits/captures WINS. And don’t forget, no crossing the center line!”
“Yeah, yeah, I remember,” scoffs Bliss. But just so you know, win or lose, I’m still RIGHT. Our girl can do it…and besides, if she’s not qualified now, how’s she going to get qualified if she doesn’t do anything about it? You know as well as I do that she’s got to get out of her comfort zone and challenge herself if she really wants to get ahead in this world…and it could be exciting. Like an adventure!” Bliss was making some excellent points, even if Diss wasn’t at all ready to concede them.
“Well it’s going to be a lonely adventure, if you ask me. She doesn’t know anyone at SMPS. How’s she supposed to make this thing work when she’s got questions…and you KNOW she’s going to have questions. She always does,” counters Diss with a hefty hurl of the ball in Bliss’ direction.
“Ha ha, you missed me!” Bliss yells back as she ducks down and quickly recovers her stance. “Not knowing anyone isn’t a reason not to join; it’s a reason to join. It’s a chance to meet the people that can help her become the leader that she is destined to be. And as I recall, no one asked you…come to think of it, as I recall, you used to have a lot more skills than this! What happened?” Bliss dealt another quick zinger off of Diss’ thigh. KA-BOINK! She was enjoying this torment a little too much… “2-zip!”
“What happened is that I don’t have time to play dodgeball with idiots!” Diss was clearly grasping at straws. Why have I given her so much credit all these years? “And neither does she!” Diss continues. “You ARE right. This isn’t grade-school; it’s real life…a life that she’s filled with work and pets and family…and work…work that pays bills. PLUS, she’s got about a thousand hours-worth of Netflix to catch up on. Don’t you want to know what happens on Season 5 of The Walking Dead?” Hmmm, Miss Diss actually makes a compelling argument here…I have been wanting to catch up on my TV time…
Distracted for a split second by zombie-mania, Bliss is dealt a low blow in the stomach (of course) by Diss’ return throw. BINK! Diss was a real heavy-hitter…she wasn’t playing games anymore. “1-2…watch out now, I’m coming up behind you…by the way, you’ve still got that ‘loser’ note from grade-school taped to your back.” OMG, I thought I burned that thing…
“Of course I want to watch Season 5,” Bliss manages to say between breaths, “but it’s not like we can’t watch itwhenever…it’s on Netflix for crying out loud! And I know there are only so many hours in the day, but you make it sound like it’s impossible…like she should quit before she even starts! I’ve never heard of such a ridiculous notion. Anything is possible in her life if she makes it so, and she can still make the nomination deadline!” Still catching her breath, Bliss flings a slow-moving ball and misses…
“Don’t sweat it, Bliss…you were never going to win this anyway,” mocks Diss as she stands clinging to the ball, reveling in the wicked satisfaction of her recent hit. “Like the note says, you were born to lose. But not to worry; there was nothing in it for her anyway. We will all be better off when she skips this whole SMPS Leadership thing.” Notably high on her own sense of superiority, Diss chuckles loudly and lobs the ball towards Bliss…only to have it caught!
“That’s 3-1, Miss ‘Thang!’ says Bliss with a mischievous smirk starting to creep up the sides of her mouth. You can ‘yuk it up’ all you want, but you and I both know that the only reason I’ve ever had a note stuck to my back is because you put it there. You’ve been feeding her a hefty load of crap for as long as I can remember. There’splenty in this for her…it’s so obvious!”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Diss was never one to be easily dissuaded from a negative train of thought…
But Bliss was getting her second wind and was ready with a comeback. “Like maybe learning a few new skills to take with her back to her current position; like maybe developing leadership skills that could grow her career and open up new opportunities for her future…maybe even lead her to her dream job; like maybe the possibility of making best pals for life! I guess maybe YOU could make that out to be nothing, but from where I stand, that’s not ‘nothing.’ Not ‘nothing’ at all.”
With that, Bliss jettisons a high-speed ball and catches Diss directly in the chest. BOI-OINK! “Boo-ya-ka-shaw!” yells Bliss before breaking into her infamous Roger-Rabbit dance maneuver. “That’s the game!” teases Bliss as her opponent stands silent with a scowl.
“That better not leave a mark,” Diss replies with a ‘sore loser’ look written all over her face. “It wouldn’t for me, but I bet it will for you,” teases Bliss as she extends a friendly handshake while Diss stares back at her skeptically. “Come on…at the end of the day we’re both on the same team,” says Bliss as she softens her approach towards a very wary Diss.
“You want to hug it out or something?” Bliss asks with a hopeful expression. “OK…hugs,” says Diss as her face returns to a normal shade of flesh. “You might want to consider a shower,” says Diss as she embraces her cohort. “You kinda stink…”
The Bottom line: Don’t let yourself be your worst enemy. We hope this post made you chuckle, calmed your fears, and helped you get one step closer to getting off the fence. Here’s a recap of the common disses your inner Miss/Mister Diss may throw your way and some blissful reflections to disarm the negative thoughts.
- Diss - You’re not qualified for any of the positions…
A bit of Bliss: The whole point of taking on a new role is to LEARN and to GROW! There is no better way to challenge ourselves than to step out of our comfort zones. CHALLENGES = EXCITEMENT
- Diss - You don’t know many people at SMPS and it would be super awkward…
A bit of Bliss: There is no better way to get connected with this great group of professionals than to be part of the Leadership Team. A few months on Leadership Team and your physical network and your LinkedIn connections will expand (All-Star Level!), guaranteed!
- Diss - You don’t have time. Work, kids, Netflix…
A bit of Bliss: We know that everyone is busy, but it’s amazing what investing a little time in SMPS does for you. Like stated before, you expand your network, learn new skills and get ample opportunity to try out your leadership skills! Many involved in the Leadership team wear the hat of manager, parent, organizational leader, etc. and still make time to serve on our team. Anything is possible if you make it so!
- Diss - There is no value in volunteering. What’s in it for me?
A bit of Bliss: This answer is different for everyone. We may not be able to guarantee how the value comes to fruition for you, but we do know that everyone takes away something positive from the volunteer Leadership experience.
About the Blogger: Amy Villasana-Moore, CPSM is SMPS Arizona's 2016 Blog Chair, is a marketer and CRM super-geek, art and music enthusiast, fan of all animals, darkroom-trained photographer, recovering “workaholic” and movie buff. She can meet you at the intersection of “strange” and “brew” and if the need arises, can have an entire conversation with you using only movie quotes.
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