Spice it up! A 2016 Resolution
Posted by ablack on Jan. 19, 2016 / Subscribe 0
It’s a new year! Maybe it’s time to spice things up. Maybe that’s exactly what the doctor has ordered. Your work marriage is something to take great care of. We all have them; yes, even graveyard managers have a boss or an assistant or a partner that they just can’t live without. In many ways, this relationship can provide endless support, can salvage your very sanity and can even keep you employed for longer than you should be (in the worst of times). I’m sure you’re all thinking of your happy (or perhaps not-so-happy) work marriages right now.
I sadly realized something the other day. It was only one short year ago that I wasn’t yet a consultant; only one short year ago would I leave a potential client’s meeting and be so excited to talk about the opportunity with my boss that we would stop and chat in the parking lot before leaving the site. It didn’t matter if the weather was extremely hot or extremely cold; she was always excited too, and would listen no matter how long I went on. It was only one short year ago that I would also constantly check in, would regularly send updates about what I was doing and was generally excited when new things would come my way. I remember asking around to everyone on the team: “What’s going on with that project? Can I help at all? It looks great!!”.
Now that I’m a consultant, not so much. Over the course of a single year, my gears have shifted and are now furiously spinning about client opportunities that have been years in the works, the vast array of upcoming events that I continue to commit to, and the development of my own skills as each project gets completed. When I leave a meeting, I’m out the door. Other team member’s projects are almost the last thing on my mind unless I know I am a necessary and integral part. Even more sadly, I am acutely aware that I now rarely ask: “How is that going?? Is there anything I can do to help?”
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks; something had struck already and I had barely tucked my one-year anniversary under my belt. What was it? An aloof mentality that strikes even the most well-intentioned of relationships. The thought process goes something like this: they know how much I love them and I don’t need to say anything to prove it. How I feel is shown in what I do. The flaw? Well, we already covered that didn’t we…what I do right now is aggressively focus on myself. Does that sound like a good partner to you? Not really…
The first thing that any decent therapist (or nosy co-worker) will do is bring to your attention that you aren’t being a very good partner. Then they will make you admit it. And yes, I had to admit it; I wasn’t being the partner that I knew I could be. Hell, I wasn’t even being the partner that I had been just a year ago! Ouch!!! But the best part about this painful admittance is that once it has happened, you can start down the path of “SPICING THINGS UP” and can transform yourself back into the amazing partner that you were at the very beginning of the relationship.
Since just about every Cosmo that I’ve ever ready assures me that I will see IMMEDIATE RESULTS with these Top 5 Relationship Tips, I thought they could be well applied to the work marriages in our illustrious A/E/C Industry…
- Notice the new things they do. When your special someone lands a new client, closes a project ahead of schedule or remembers to do that tedious task that is always forgotten, be sure to praise them! Positive reinforcement does wonders for future productivity. Mark my words…
- Remember the important days. Each year, celebrate major milestones with that go-to guy or gal and have a coffee (or even a drink) to recognize those hard-earned work anniversaries, those record-breaking sales or some awesome newly signed clients. These little get-togethers really emphasize the importance of your relationship, what you have achieved together already and what you can accomplish going forward.
- Get along with their family. This one isn’t always easy, but in the A/E/C industry it’s a MUST. When your professional partner has close relationships in the industry (whether it be true family, long-term clients or internal roles that they closely rely on), remember to respect and include them in major decisions. This reminds them of how important they are to the team overall, above and beyond their relationship with your “work wife” or “work hubby.” Keep the group tight and you’ll all be stronger together!
- Keep your partner updated. Once again, we are all under insane deadlines; that’s no excuse. And let’s be honest; you really wouldn’t appreciate your special someone coming home two hours late for dinner. So why is it ok to be two weeks late on a deadline? This is tantamount to work marriage treason and is rarely punished to the extent it should be. Keep your partner updated on clients and project progress regularly and you will both be happier with increased peace of mind.
- Don’t “go to bed” angry. Last, but certainly not least, this relationship tip has stood the test of time. Going to bed angry with any work-related issues is sure to set off some alarms that rattles your brain until every last thought has been shaken out. Who can sleep with that heavy load weighting down on them. Even leaving the office before an issue has been addressed should be totally frowned upon. Make a resolution to send a text, leave a considerate and reassuring voicemail or even take a second to leave a damn note that says something like “this will be awesomely resolved” in whatever words you choose to use. This helps both you and your partner get the sleep you both deserve and puts the ball in their court.
Have you taken all of this in? Did you already take an inventory of your current work marriage relationship? What did you find? There’s no mystery here; all relationships require the same basic considerations to stay healthy. Even the A/E/C marriages that come and go throughout the lifespans of our careers. My resolution? To work on my work marriage and become a better partner…and maybe even bring roses and chocolate to meetings on occasion because, hey, I also feel that any meeting would benefit from something like that!
About the Blogger: Between bike rides with the kids, Nicole Rodriguez “Major Marketing” juggles client meetings as an A/E/C industry consultant. She’s positively thrilled at any opportunity to shine, support and succeed, which usually means that she works part-time for SMPS as a volunteer in addition to her full-time position at TankGirl Marketing. Nicole thoroughly believes she can change the world one graphic, one event, and one client at a time and will never give up trying. She also believes that we are all lucky to be alive and well and able to read this very post!
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