The Tao of Booth
Posted by ablack on Jul. 7, 2015 / Subscribe 0
According to Wikipedia, Tao or Dao is a Chinese concept signifying 'way, 'path,' 'route,' or sometimes more loosely, 'doctrine' or 'principle.' Within the context of traditional Chinese philosophy and religion, the Tao is the intuitive knowing of "life," that of which cannot be grasped full heartedly as just a concept but known nonetheless as the present living experience of one's everyday being.
My Dad was born back in 1932 at the tail end of the depression, making him part of the Silent Generation. Like so many other members of his generation, he had very simple expectations for life: get married, work a decent job, buy a house, have a couple of kids, and be happy that you have food on the table and a roof over your head. He was a man of few words, but a gentle heart.
At the age of 51, my Dad found himself weighing in at 285 pounds; he was hypertensive, had chest pains, was suicidal and was battling alcoholism. Needless to say, he was not at a good place in his life; he had hit that point where something had to give. And that’s when it happened…that’s when he found his Tao, setting out on a new path in life…literally.
It took place on a decidedly unassuming day, while standing at the end of the driveway dressed in his usual uniform of Bermuda shorts and loafers. He was staring out into the sunset, just like he had every other day before. But this day was different somehow because all of a sudden, he pulled a Forrest Gump. Out of nowhere, he started jogging down the street. I suspect that it was not the sunset that he was staring into that day, but rather the abyss of his soul…or he “just felt like running.” But whatever the reason, that was the day that he found his bliss.
Within a year of that day, my Dad had successfully quit drinking, had run his first marathon AND had lost 50 pounds. Within two years, he had become an ultra-runner. And for those of you that don’t know, an ultra-run starts at 50 miles which turns a marathon (26.2 miles) into a short little training exercise. Talk about a turn-around! He was living it; the Tao of Booth.
A change of this magnitude earns a person several hard-won lessons in life. And what my Dad learned was the zen that comes when it’s just you and the road for up to 24 hours. Hey, you tend to figure out a few things about life when there are no distractions in your way. So here they are...
Life Lesson #1: Don’t Miss Out on the Good Stuff.
Fast-forward 15 years from that day, and I was going through a few struggles of my own. I was raising a child by myself, struggling to build a career AND put food on the table, and desperately needing some Dad advice. But at this point, of course, the only way to catch him was to strap on a pair of sneakers and run with him.
So there we were, running down the trail together, when I asked the question. “Dad, what is the important stuff that I need to know about life?” He stopped running (which was extremely rare), and gave me one of those leveling “Dad” looks. And he said very simply, “I never wished that I had worked more. Your family can be fragile and work will always be there. Don’t miss out.”
Admittedly, I brushed it off a bit. Didn’t he know I HAD to work hard? But with more than 20 years behind me since that day, I can honestly tell you that my Dad was absolutely right. I don’t wish I had worked more. I missed out on so many things when my girl was growing up, and I can never get that time back. There’s no time like the present tomake time for the things in life that are truly important.
Life Lesson #2: Just Keep Moving Forward.
I kept up with running. Not only was it a great way to bond with my Dad but it also afforded me opportunities to blow off steam. Actually, I learned to love running. And several years later I was even bold enough to sign up for a marathon. But on the eve of my running debut, I found myself trying to come up with ways to back out of it. So I called my Dad for some much needed advice (again).
Here was his advice: “It will be hard and you will want to quit…many times. But the secret is to just keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter if you are running, walking, crawling bloody and battered; just keep moving forward and you will get there eventually.” This one piece of advice has kept me going through the highs and lows of my career and my life. No matter what, just keep moving forward.
Life Lessons #3: Endurance is everything. Be YOUR Best.
Dad continued to run until he was 75 years old. In fact, it wasn’t until he contracted a disease of the nervous system - making him unable to maintain his balance - that he actually stopped running (stubborn old dude!). In 2009, he passed away and we held a service; it was attended by lots of buddies from the ultra-running group that he had belonged to for 25 years. One of the best parts of the service was hearing them tell their stories about their adventures with him on 24-hour runs, runs through the desert that went on for days, etc. Then his best friend proceeded to tell the story of what it was like to train with Marche (my Dad).
You see, at least twice a week the group would run up the highest hill in town, each challenging the others to be faster. This is what he had to say about it. “Marche was huge compared to the rest of us. He wasn’t born with a runner’s body; he was never the fastest. We would always get to the top of the hill and rest while we waited for him. And when Marche would get up there, he would take one look at us all, mutter ‘wimps,’ and then head right back down. He had an iron will and the endurance of an ox.”
This is when I knew that I was truly my father’s daughter. Dad wasn’t there to compete with those skinny guys; he was there to be HIS best. Likewise, I don’t care to be the fastest. I only care to compete with who I am today and focus on how I can be a better "me" tomorrow. Combine that with an iron will and it can take you pretty far in life.
Two days after his passing, my daughter ran her first half-marathon. As she crossed the finish line, I could see that iron-will look of determination on her face and I cried with pride. I am my father’s daughter, and she is her mother’s. I often envision my Dad running alongside others while offering silent encouragement on the trail to Lake Ilsanjo, leading to the very same hill that he used to run to the top of with his trail mates and the very same hill where his ashes now rest. Thanks for the wisdom, Dad. I can still hear you, loud and clear.
About the Blogger: Deirdre Booth-Gilmore, CPSM is the owner and president of TankGirl Marketing. She’s a pretty average runner, but what she lacks in speed and grace, she makes up for in pure stubbornness. Her “just keep moving forward” philosophy was the impetus for opening TankGirl Marketing.
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